Gays Cause Global Warming? Stunning Report

by Editor

O.M.G. Now I have heard everything! A report issued by a British Scientist (Professor Junk) has concluded that being gay is a major contributor to global warming!

Professor Junk claims that homosexual lifestyle activities such as partying in Ibiza and driving pimped up 4WD’s is one of the leading causes of global warming! (I am going to have to tell my friend who did this last year that he needs to come out of the closet?)

It comes as no surprise that Junk’s work is sponsored by the United Faith Science & Biblical Truth Foundation. The report forgot to mention anything about clearing forests to print Bibles or the fact that heterosexuals also go to Ibiza and like to own leather couches!

Could it be because so many gay people are totally hot?

Homosexuals are destroying the planet. That’s the stunning conclusion of a report by a British scientist working for a worldwide research institute.

“Global warming is a gay issue,” said the organization’s chief para-scientist, Professor Helmut Junk at a press conference yesterday. “The heat generated in discos, bath houses, the manufacture of interior furnishings, leather tanning and the result of … um …. friction, is a major contributor to the global rise in mean temperature. There are also lifestyle issues, such as homosexuals’ liking for gas-guzzling Jeeps and the environmental impact of frequent vacations in Ibiza, Gran Canaria, San Francisco and Margate.”

He denied, however, that gays’ fondness for houseplants and gardening offsets their carbon footprint to a degree.

Prof Junk’s work is sponsored by the United Faith Science & Biblical Truth Foundation. According to the organization’s marketing material, “The UFS&BTF adopts a far more rigorous attitude to science than most scientists. The science community in general is all too willing to accept ideas — even the most bizarre and outlandish theories such as evolution, relativity and paleontology — based on little more than data, factual evidence and predictability. Our organization adopts a more selective and stringent approach. That’s because we go the extra mile and ensure that our ideas conform with the ultimate test of reason and commonsense — the Word of God.”

Source: Weekly World Inquisitor

Now that you are aware of the possible implications of sexual preference… Are you going to repent and become more straight? That’s right those “metro-sexual” activities that you partake in are probably going to be the focus of the next study!

The thing that really gets on my nerve about ridiculous reports like this, is the fact that these people have actually wasted money on research that could have been better spent on feeding the starving people of the planet. What Would Jesus Do? In a time when serious issues face our planet and possibly our future as a species… Do we really need to start pointing the finger at minority groups?

Shouldn’t these United Faith Science & Biblical Truth Foundation people be going after the real villains, like Mining giants and Oil companies?

God help us all!

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